My daughter Isabel Blue was born on May 14th. Labor started around 2:30 pm. I was taking care of my cousin's one-year-old as well as my two-year-old son. My cousin came to pick up her son around 6 pm and stayed with me until I asked her to leave around 8:30 pm. Later she told me that leaving me was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Although she supported my decision to have an unassisted birth, she was still nervous for me.

I got my son ready for bed and laid with him until he fell asleep around 9:30 ish. This whole time I hadn't been timing contractions, just letting them do their thing. Not very painful. So then I got to business. I went to the living room and set up the futon with waterproof pads, extra sheets, etc. I lit a couple candles and turned off the lights. I searched high and low for the Enya CD I had bought for the birth and finally after getting really frustrated, found it in some random spot. So I put the CD on and it played continuously for the next six hours or so. I sat on the futon with my legs crossed Indian style. I sat and I sat and I sat...

It seemed the contractions were pretty far apart as I was able to doze off in between them. I never timed them. I worried for a brief moment that I should be walking around, making the contractions come quicker, but when I even shifted my sitting position, the contractions became so much stronger. So I just listened to my body and did what I felt comfortable with. I sat there for hours getting up only to use the potty a couple of times. And also, my son, who is used to sleeping beside me, had woken up a few times, and I went in there and laid him back to sleep. Other than that, I stayed in my position on the futon.

The contractions got stronger, but nowhere near as painful as the ones I had with my son in the hospital a couple years ago. Through each contraction, I calmly breathed, prayed, and in between each contraction, I prayed that I would get through the next one. As each contraction got stronger, I forced myself to smile. I had read somewhere that smiling forces your body to feel better. What it did for me was it made my brain search for what I was smiling about. So just about everytime, it brought me to the moment when I gave birth to my son. I realized then that I would be experiencing that again in a few hours, hopefully :), and then I imagined the baby moving down a little bit each time, bringing itself closer to meeting me. Then I pictured my uterus was hugging my baby goodbye. I did all that, smiling, through each contraction, and by the time I pictured all that, the contraction was over.

The hours went by. I continuted to sleep in between contractions. Finally I had a whopper. It was bad enough that I couldn't doze between that one and the next one, which was equally as bad. So after the second REALLY painful contraction, it was as if I said internally, "well now, we can't have that, can we?" :) So I got up onto my knees and POP, my water broke. I put my hand down with the intention of checking to see if I could feel a head through the cervix. Didn't get that far. The head was pushing at my perineum! I was so pleasantly surprised.

Immediately, I felt the urge to push, and did so. I pushed only when my body felt like it had no other choice. I supported my perineum with my finger as long as I felt I could. Then...I heard my son crying on the baby monitor. Are you kidding me, I thought? In his two years of life, this was the first time that I didn't immediately respond to his cries in the night. I had left the door open, hoping he would come out. He did, moments later, just as I pushed the head out. (I pushed for just minutes, compared to an hour with my previous birth.)

This whole time I hadn't moaned, cried, yelled...nothing. At this point, I was barely whispering prayers. So my son had woken up at the perfect time, he hadn't heard me. He must've just sensed that his sister was a'coming and wanted to greet her. :)

So he came into the living room and looked at me like "what are we doing out here?" but then just silently joined me on the futon. I was on my knees, and I don't think he saw the head between my legs. But then shortly after he joined me, the rest of the baby's body slid out onto the bed. My son laughed and said "didi!" (that's how he says baby). That's pretty much what we call her now, although Didi sounds nothing like Isabel! :)

I checked and thought I saw a yoni, but then I wasn't sure. I had to check again a few minutes later. Sure enough, I had a daughter! I had never seen such a tiny yoni before, I'm always around little boys, it was so adorable!! She didn't cry but she was breathing just fine. I nursed her right away. A few minutes later, my son went to his shelf of books, got his children's bible and brought it to me to read to him. So there I am, at 4 am, my daughter nursing, still attached to the cord, and my son and I reading from the bible. It was the most perfect moment of my life. I am so glad my son came out when he did. It couldn't have been timed more perfectly.

I actually forgot to look at the clock. So I know her birth time within about a 20 minute period! Also her weight is kinda guesswork too. I had bought a fish scale but according to that, she was 10 lbs, which couldn't be right. On a regular scale, she came in at 8.5 pounds, so we're gonna go with that vague number. She was 22 inches all three times I attempted to measure her! She's got strawberry blonde hair and deep blue eyes.

So back to the "after" birth...I waited for the cord to stop pulsing and then I cut it. The placenta didn't come out until eight hours later. I was quite uncomfortable until then, but when it came out, I felt just fine. The placenta's in my freezer...not quite sure why, but I couldn't throw it away.

The birth went better than I could have hoped! I had no prenatal care, no midwife...and I had the most perfect birth experience. I would never have another baby any other way. I am so proud of myself that I trusted in my body, my baby, and God to guide me through a pregnancy and birth the way nature intended. It was so peaceful, so beautiful. My daughter was born at home, with only the sounds of her mama and brother to greet her.

This birth changed the way I view our bodies and minds. I'm so glad that I'll be able to raise my daughter to believe in herself and her body the way I was never taught to. Isabel turned a month last week, and she's happy, healthy and beautiful.